Tags
Addiction, Black and White, Depression, Experimental, Florida, GIF, Grief, Introspection, Nature, Poetry, Prose, Video, Writing
(Some experimental refractions. Thank you for drizzling by.)
The clattering waves. The intractable sky. Mute again, with gloomy grey eyes. A bit of bone cuts into my thumb. A touch of wind whispers through decaying feathers. I do not remember the last thing I felt before the embalming.
Sometimes, Silence is reckless.
My mind is fossilized. As lively as the oldest stone. I lean back on the retracting cushion of Entropy, and gaze blankly toward the heavens. How dazzling is this thatch of scattering sparrows; how enchanting their dance of dewdrop shadows.
Thorny bliss is this mindlessness, oblique amongst the dried thistle and snapping bramble. I can vaguely hear it, somewhere wrapped in gauze; a little Life fizzing at the bottom of the quiet stream, beyond.
Like a mosquito, I insert a needle into it, now and then.
It is easy to forget the threat of a wave’s smooth caress, that its languorous massage of oblivion is still a form of erosion.
When I was a child, my favourite thing to draw was a noose.
He rang the other night. I could hear that his lips were cracked and bleeding. He wept and begged forgiveness, but I had never felt slighted to begin with. Yet, my response was blank-eyed silence. There was only the sound of the restive wind moaning through the eaves to answer for me.
How stealthy a foe is this stifling captor; like a cashmere cloud, its downy coolness yawned over me. Its strangeness seemed safe, nestled inside its gossamer embrace, bound in a world without senses or thought. I am far too gone to feel alarm, now.
Sometimes, love is just impotent rage that is a little too tired to bear its bulbous face.
What an obdurate knot Shame so deftly creates, twisting away, as the years smoothly slip by, pressure mounting against my spine.
Regaining a pulse requires resurfacing. To drag the bloated body from the turgid depths. To pry open its chalky eyes, exposing them to the bone light of the wild ocean sky, above. To kiss its mucid, slimy visage and blow through its cold stringy-white lips.
To let the cherry rivulets of pus and water drain from the self-inflicted punctures.
I do not know if I will dry out, chafe these wrists, and feel again. I despise the sound of my own voice, the rattle and scrape of my defunct brain and the trepid rasp of my rusty breath.
Sometimes, though, Silence can be much deadlier than the noose.
brilliant
Aloha! Thank you. I was very uncertain about this one! Elated that it was enjoyed. Jubilant cheers,
Autumn Jade
Dear elated: Aloha back! What your post really requires is conversation. Always appreciate the images that you create….with your words. The jubilation is all mine.
Thanks very much. Most gruntled with too many chortles to count! Have a groovy rest of the week and happy March to you! 😀
May your chortles create a river of music to accompany your March.
And may you enjoy an absolutely sublime spring filled with the music of nature all around you. 😀 Cheers!
I think your experiment worked…very creative.
Greetings Coastal! Oh, that is a relief. I was very hesitant about this one…but one must deviate into the unknown, now and then, I think. Thanks so much for cascading by and leaving behind such kind words! Ebullient cheers,
Autumn Jade
Fabulous and so very beautiful, as always!
Thanks so much, your kind words are deeply appreciated! Thank you for gamboling by and having a wee look. All the best with smiling cheers,
Autumn Jade
an interesting piece…like a Solzhenitsyn, a reader might want to read it through a few times, lest they miss some of the morsels- – at this time of night, my vehicle is starting to drift over the lines, and I need a hard turn to sober me from falling asleep at that wheel…a wonderful piece, from a man in need of his bed.
Excellent photography! Great to see you back 🙂
Thanks Bethula, so happy to be back. Hugs, and so delighted to see your lovely face again. Always such a joy when you visit. Thank you for fluttering by, dear friend. All the best,
Autumn Jade
I love your dark photos, you know that! Yet it’s time to add a little colour, methinks…
I do thank you for your beautiful words. You’ve certainly made my early, dark day. I’ll be going through my day with smiles, thanks to you.
All good things to you 🌹
I quite agree, Bethula. Time for some humour and some colour! 😀
Thank you. And you’ve brightened up my evening, soon to draw to a close with a smile, because of you 🙂 Cheers!
Blimey, if I felt like that.. Oh yes, I do 🙂
We are like two black and desiccated peas in a cracked and crumbling pod, eh Feral??? Thanks for bounding by! Wishing you a grand and dashing weekend. Cheers!
Smiling Toad
Yeah… Hang on, you get a pod? I want to see the management.. 😀
😀
Visually and verbally beautiful, if prickly in parts
Thanking you kindly, dear Derrick J Knight! Such kind and delightful words. Thanks for wading by and having a wee glisk about this prickly old patch of weald. Hope you did not come away with too many burrs and thorns clinging to your shoes. Happy weekend to you, with ebullient cheers,
Smiling Toad
And nature is the cure … 😀
Excellent post AJ. I love it and your animated photos are just so captivating! Thanks for sharing. ♥
Indubitably, dear Sonel! Nature IS the cure for the fevered and restive soul. Glad you liked this strange and experimental post! I do not know where it sprang from. I was annoyed that I had not written anything new in months and so this surly little thing was born! I think it might have been the result of a black-tea-overdose…I am a lightweight when it comes to caffeine! 😉
Thanks for skipping by and having a glance about this old tangle of weeds. All the best, with jubilant cheers,
Smiling Toad
I know just what you mean AJ. I just loved it. Seems annoyance can make you creative as well then. I must try that as well. haha! I do know depression sometimes helps my creative spark. Not always. Just sometimes. Luckily I have lots of help from nature.
LOL! I think I’ll stick to my coffee. I overdose on that regularly.
You are very welcome and would love to see more, if you have more.
♥
HA HA, I am absolutely batty for coffee and so I must avoid it, or regrets abound the “morning after”. Tea, supposedly weaker, can inspire similar tragedies and debacles, but hopefully not as many…good GOLLY!
I’m so glad you find nature inspiring and a great help, as well. I am certainly inspired by all the glorious creatures that abound on your scintillating blog, as I’ve said many times already, and cannot say enough! It is a sanctuary!
Depression is my greatest creativity-killer, I am afraid. I am so grateful, however, that I can sally forth and get lost in the wilderness or the feral beauty of the sea…it is there that depression goes to be buried.
More images of tangles and weeds? Endless. I will post more, in colour, for you soon, dear friend. Hugs and thanks so much for the marvelous words you have left behind. Too many grins to count!
All the best- old toad
LOL! If I don’t get my coffee, I might just kill someone. So, everyone in the house knows. Tea is way too weak for me. If I have to drink tea, it will have to be spiked. hahahaha!
I do indeed and I am very glad to hear that. It’s always so great to find something I haven’t seen before and after taking photos of it, there’s more fun researching and learning about it.
I am glad you have the sea to help you with it. It must be nice to just sit there and listen to the waves and breathe that salty air. 😀
Now that would be awesome! Thank you very much AJ. You’re such a sweetheart. 😀
You are very welcome and thanks for the hugs. Lots of hugs to you as well. ♥
Yes, I feel the same way! Always discovering something new and exciting to learn about in nature (and on your blog!).
I used to be murderous when I was coffee-deprived too, and this is why I had to quit. Actually, no, it was because I rambled on and on, waaaaaay too much! It would probably be wise for me to stay away from tea…too…for that matter…I think I’ll just have oonnee more and THEN mark an end to it 😉
Sweetheart?? Me?? NAH just a surly old salt. You are the sweet one! 😀 Swampy embraces to you, dear Sonel! Cheers!
Yes, that is what makes it more fun. 😀
hahahaha! Yes, it seems the caffeine made you hyperactive. If I don’t have a cup of coffee before I go to bed, I can’t sleep. Strange but true. LOL!
Oh no, you’re such a darling. I’m the surly old salt. hahahaha!
Thanks for the lovely embraces and here’s some warm hugs for you. ♥
I’ve never been able to read in the car without getting dizzy so I found I had to take this in steps…weird huh? I loved it though. The movement in the gifs as counterpoint to the text is very effective….some subliminal, some overt. It is a definite “experience”. And the poem, considering the noir subject is at the same time wonderfully alive with sensuality….cashmere clouds? Wow….I’m impressed.Very creative!
Jana, my deepest apologies for missing this spectacular comment! Thanks so much for imbibing and leaving behind your thoughts. I certainly had not noticed the sensual aspect of it but now that you mention it, I can see it. The natural world can be very intoxicating and seductive, so I guess it is not surprising that this bleeds through sometimes. Really splendid comment. Loved it, thanks so much for swimming by. Happy weekend to you,
Autumn Jade
These are absolutely stunning! Very eerie and powerful.
Thank you very much, Dr. Eastern! I am delighted that you thought so. I was in a bit of a state of oblivion when I wrote it up. I like these GIF things, though. I want to learn how to make cinemagraphs. Have you heard of these? I think they’re fantastic! They stir me so deeply. Here you go- https://flixel.com/cinemagraphs/nature/
Thanks for skipping by, dear friend. I so enjoy your visits and will be hop-scotching over to your majestic blog soon. Hope you are enjoying a groovy weekend! All the best,
Old Toad
WOW!! That’s the first time I hear of cinemagraphs and the site you link to is just amazing. I could spend ages watching it…
Also, no need to call me doctor, I’m already intellectually arrogant enough, no need to support this character flaw 😉
Anyway, great to hear from you again, have a greet weekend(s)/weekday(s) and see you around again!
I am so sorry, I have an addiction to supporting character flaws…I find them wonderful. They’ve taken over my life…
Anyway, you are quite right, I need to cut it out. Thank you for pointing this out Doctor, you are absolutely right. Oops, apologies Dr. Eastern….blast, I mean MARA. There we go. It really is hard to drop that “Dr.”
I am so glad that you found the cinemagraphs as enchanting and addicting as I did. I must attempt one soon!
Aye, see you moseying about soon, and hope you are enjoying the rest of your weekend, cheers- toad
Haha, I too find character flaws particularly endearing. Especially in myself 😉
Very beautiful.
Thanks so much! 😀
beautiful 🙂
Thank you!!
Autumn Jade .. A masterpiece! I’m still lost in your words .. Dreaming
Thanks so much Julie Frog Pond! I think I was dreaming when I wrote them 😉 Rather unexpected. I am so thrilled that you enjoyed it! Thanks for wafting by, dear friend. All the best and a jubilant weekend to you,
smiling toad
These are great! really imaginative !
Thank you so much! Just discovered a phenomenon known as a cinemagraph, taking GIFs to a whole new level! I want to try making one. Thanks so much for drizzling by. Delighted that they were enjoyed. Chortling cheers and happy weekend to you,
Autumn Jade
Wow ~ “Some experimental refractions” are speaking volumes. Beautiful and creative.
Thank you Dalo! Glad you liked it. Thanks for wading by. All the best,
Autumn Jade
Your images and gifs are so mesmerizing. I’ve revisited your post several times this evening. Your words as always are poetically mind-blowing.
Sylvia Paradise, thank you so much. My apologies for missing this wonderful comment. I am so delighted that you enjoyed this post. It certainly sprang up out of the ether, rather unexpectedly. Thanks so much for your kind words. All the best and wishing you a delightful weekend,
Autumn Jade Toad
Thank you. You too. 🙂
❤
😀
awesome pictures.
Thank you!
“Sometimes, Silence is reckless.” This line sounds so profound. I’m wondering why silence is reckless when it opens the door for others to complete their own thoughts. In what way is it reckless?
I love this line, “He rang the other night. I could hear that his lips were cracked and bleeding. He wept and begged forgiveness, but I had never felt slighted to begin with.”
First, you could hear his lips cracked and bleeding. What did that sound like, I wonder? Why were they cracked and bleeding? What in the world did he do? Did he get beat up. Is that why his lips were cracked? Then the beautiful statement that you had never felt slighted. What a forgiving statement, yet maybe you just did not care as much as he did. You had no answer for him, and just let his begging lie. I have had that happen to me on both sides. When I have no answer, I anguish inside. I want to make that person care, understand, answer me. I am tortured.
I love this poem and the videos that go with it. 🙂
Salutations Marsha!
Thank you for your wonderful analysis and cascade of thoughts. I had to trawl back through the murk of these words to attempt to figure out what on earth I DID mean.
As for “silence can be reckless”- I believe I was thinking of silence as a lack of expression, and that loss of voice becoming so reckless that it may result in paralytic numbness or death (suicide). Years of no expression, of never purging those dark thoughts that eventually turn from slimy, fly-haloed meat to the fetid, black-oozing tar of ultimate despair, leads to nowhere pleasant. At least, that is one interpretation. 😀
“Cracked and bleeding lips” does imply violence, or an existence in harsh and barren elements (perhaps emotional AND literal), or both. My older brother often sought out violence, coming home bloody and injured. I think I was thinking of him when I wrote that, though it could also just be metaphorical.
Being unable to answer seems to be a state that strikes me often. The endless aphasic is I 😉 A frustrating habit, at times, when a depth of emotion and caring requires verbal expression and I am left standing there dumb.
Thank you so much for visiting. I thoroughly enjoyed your comment.
All the best,
-Autumn Jade
Always good to hear from you. We both have let many things come into our lives which breaks the blogging momentum we once had. Have a great week!😀😀❤️
Aye, things encroach sometimes. I am ardently looking forward to catching up on your blog. I trust all is well with you and V. All the best,
-old craggy toad
Hi Craggy, Things are well here. Things do encroach, don’t they. I’ve slowed down my posting, and tried to increase my reading, but it seems there is always something that needs to be done. 🙂 I’m so involved in community and other website work now – as if I knew what I was doing. But I wear my turquoise tutu and my size 15 ballet slippers and people in meetings think I know the dance – so I get elected! 🙂
Sometimes we learn the steps as we go along, har har, even in over-sized shoes. Being of service and being involved with community is very rewarding, I must say. And with your dedication and depth of caring and competence and tenacity, it is no wonder that you are the one who gets elected!! AND draped in a smart turquoise tutu with size 15 slippers??? HOW could they ever resist that?
I love reading blogs- always been my favourite part of the whole process. I am increasing my posting again, too, just forcing myself to do it, for now.
A fellow contacted me and I gave him a photo for his project in the spring. Got me to pick up the thousand-pound camera again. 🙂
Cheers,
-craggy
I know, they weigh a ton. I use my phone most of the time. 😀😀😀😀 Glad you are going to get back to posting!
😀
What wonderful images these are… ….and a brilliant idea to put it in a gif. Very moody and relaxing to watch. 🙂
Thank you Markus! Glad you liked them. Thought I would try something different. Moody was definitely what I was going for 😉 Thank you for wading by and happy weekend to you,
Autumn Jade
Same to you! Enjoy it! 🙂
I LOVE this blog.
Oh my! Thank you very much Kyra. I adore your blog, as well. Far too groovy for words!
Thanks so much for drizzling by!
All the best,
Autumn Jade
Black and white photography, always spectactulary
Thank you so much Natuur!
Just Awesome…:-)
Thanks so much!
Not sure how I’ve missed every single post lately when your blog is one of my favorites!! Apologies~ this is spectacular. I always find that there’s a perfect fusion between your words and images.