How I Wish There Were No End to Rain

Tags

Black and White, Death, Florida, Grief, Introspection, Music, Nature, Ocean, Pain, Photography, Prose, Quotation, Rain, Sea, Writing

I loomed beneath a dark feathering of sea-oats, pointed tips glazed with recent rain. I listened to the subdued murmur of little waves. The fetid and russet beds of sea-wrack had been washed away, leaving the sand barren and strange. A forlorn gull loitered at the swash line, analyzing the crinkling water as it fizzed in and out.

Distant lightning lazily branched from the moody-blue squall-lines and spidered across a sullen sea of herbal green. Coy ghost crabs emerged, removing dark masses of dripping sand from drowned burrows. They built little, lumpy mounds around the entrances to their small, black holes.

The storm was leaving me. How I longed for it to stay.

I was tortured the other night, seized with the memory of my little Siamese cat squeezing her eyes tightly shut for the last time. How swiftly she was gone, her soft, cinnamon cheek resting upon a colorful, flowing blanket that masked the metal slab beneath. I had never seen an animal euthanized, before. I understood, logically, that it ended the physical misery of her little, bony body.

Yet, how troubled I am by that last image of peace…of life tenderly released.

My mum died of a similar ravenous kind of disease. I remember that final image. Her face waxen and unreal, her mouth a small, black hole. She did not tightly close her eyes. She was not escorted quietly, through a warm wash of sleep, into the darkness beyond. Yet, I was not so disturbed by her image in death. And how vividly there lacked any look of peace…

I do not know what that reveals about me.

But I wish the storm would never leave. I want, forever, to hear its screams over this cold and fleeting sea of herbal green. How I wish there were no end to rain. Just as there seems to be no end to Grief.

“Darkness settles on the ground
Leaves the day stumbling blind,
Coming to a quiet close
And maybe just in time”
– From the song God Only Knows by Joe Henry

“Nothing is Easier Than…”

Tags

Abstract, Abstract Photography, Black and White, Crime, Dark, Experiemental, Literature Quotes, Odd, Pain, Photography, Quotes, Skull, Thoughts

“Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea”
– Dylan Thomas

“Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him.”
– Fyodor Dostoevsky

“I pulled out the letter. It was a receipt for putting my little dog to sleep. When I realized what they’d done, I think I screamed…I believe that this was the moment the world lost me, for pain quickly turned to fury.”
– Edward Bunker, Education of a Felon

“Winter was gray and mean upon the city and every night was a package of cold bleak hours, like the hours in a cell that had no door.”
– David Goodis, Of Tender Sin

“I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library.”
-Jorge Luis Borges

Dragonfly Shadows and a Harried Sky

Tags

Abstract, Black and White, Forest, Grief, Loss, Nature, Nikon, Pain, Photography, Quotes, Reflection, Sadness, Thoughts, Toad, Video, Videography, Wandering, Water, Woods

Some stills from the wee forest video below. 

“One thing you can’t hide – is when you’re crippled inside.”
― John Lennon

“Here I am trying to live, or rather, I am trying to teach the death within me how to live.”
– Jean Cocteau

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”
― William Faulkner

Thank you for drizzling by,

Jubilant cheers,

Autumn Jade

Liminal Overcast

Tags

Autumn, Fall, Fall Colour, Florida, Forest, Grief, Leaf, Nature, Pain, Photography, Poetry, Water

Autumn’s liminal overcast

Makes stark and bleak each vagrant leaf-

A translunary breath of Rain-

Such is the quiddity of Grief

That conjures a smile from Pain.

Buddha of the Street

Tags

Black and White, Cocoa Village, Despair, Flower, Love, Pain, Photography, Poetry, Society, Street Photography, Violence

Love is disguised through a screen of malevolent taunting,

And shown through Violence, the Buddha of the Street.

Don it on our faces, gnarled like twisted trees,

Snarling eyes that only smile while bleeding.

Euphoria, as skulls crack against the pavement,

Words of spitting teeth, “This is the real life of honour.”

And I believed that was the only time we could feel…

anything at all…